can i donate my brain to somebody else? i need a new one. preferably, a brain that is filled with all the information i need to know for finals, and that lacks the ability to be chemically imbalanced. can't get these bad thoughts out of my head. jealousy is a bitch.  

 
The Cure! You're dark, mysterious, and in love.
Constantly in love. You love everything weird
and foreign.


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  wow, i haven't blogged since last year. not much has happened since then so it doesn't really matter. i have noticed a rapid decline in the quality of my entries, i have run out of time and purpose when it comes to my blog. recently, when filling out the academic decathalon interview form, i realized that i had absolutely no life. there where a bunch of spaces to fill out your leadership experience, work experience, school clubs and activities, etc etc. the entire form was pretty much blank except for a couple lines about playing guitar and dancing. i looked around the room as other kids struggled to fit all their activities in the space provided. ok, so they may have lives, but in my eyes their lives are no better than mine because they don't have to kind of life i want [school is your life. you really enjoy extracurriculars like tennis. from seventh grade on, your existence is focused on college acceptance.] i am generalizing, but mehhh. i can't wait for this whole highschool thing to end. cliche i know, but true. going to FJC is not a crime.
so i haven't seen the light of day in a while. am i willing to sacrifice harmony at home for a little freedom? i don't know. i let my parents get away with everything. i wish my mom were rational, so then we could reach an agreement without things getting out of control. doesn't she realize that i can just leave the house at any time without telling her where i am going?
forgiveness, of the things i have done wrong in the past. and letting go. acceptance, of the fact that i will never be a good student and i will never be like her. a couple concepts my mom has yet to understand. she doesn't realize that i am at the age when she should give up on trying to dictate my life.
hi danny, wood, and sue if you are reading this.